The Hidden Obstacles to True Love

Beginner

• Task 1: Listen and Identify Listen to the beginning of the video. Write down two things the speaker says you must understand about yourself to know who is right for you.
• Task 2: Listen for the Example Listen for the speaker’s example about being “super real” with yourself.
  1. What kind of person is she attracted to?
  2. What kind of person is she really?
  3. Will a relationship with the “outdoorsy” person work long term?
• Task 3: Listen for Key Words Listen to the whole video. When you hear one of these words or phrases, make a mark. How many times did you hear each one?
  • “know yourself”
  • “really real”
  • “codependency”
  • “love”

Intermediate

• Task 1: Listen for the Main Point Listen to the section where the speaker talks about “codependency.” In a few sentences, explain what she says this is. What happens when you depend on your partner too much for your happiness?
• Task 2: Listen for Specifics Listen to the part where the speaker talks about “two camps” of people. Describe the two types of people she sees. What does she say the people who tolerate too much need to do?
• Task 3: Listen and Connect Listen to the speaker’s personal story about her relationship and her mother. What happened to the speaker that she says helped her get to the place she is now? What does she say she is grateful for about her past relationship?

Advanced

• Task 1: Listen for Paradox The speaker uses the word “paradox” multiple times. Listen for these paradoxes and explain them in your own words.
  • The paradox of needing a partner vs. not needing them.
  • The paradox of loving yourself vs. learning to love yourself in a relationship.
• Task 2: Listen and Infer Listen to the section where the speaker talks about being single. What is her attitude toward being single? What does she say you can do when you are single that you cannot always do in a relationship? Why is being single a “huge” and “amazing” position to be in?
• Task 3: Listen to the “Sleep No More” Story Listen very carefully to the story about the “Sleep No More” show.
  • What was the partner’s “proclivity”?
  • What was the speaker’s proclivity?
  • What did the partner do that the speaker describes as “total stonewalling”?
  • What does she say she would have done today if that happened?

 Beginner

• Task 1: Read and Find Read the video’s text and find the answers to these questions.
  1. What two things do you have to understand about yourself to know who is right for you?
  2. What does the speaker say about people who are “outdoorsy”?
  3. What does the speaker say is the biggest mistake they brought to relationships?
• Task 2: True or False Read the video’s text and decide if the following sentences are True or False.
  1. You have to be “super real” with yourself.
  2. A relationship with someone who is very different from you will work for a long time.
  3. The speaker says you should depend on your partner for your happiness.
• Task 3: Match the Words Read the text and match the word to its correct meaning.
  1. vulnerabilities
  2. codependency
  3. subpar

• a) Not good enough.
• b) A person relies too much on their partner for happiness.
• c) Weaknesses or things that can be easily hurt.

 Intermediate

• Task 1: Read and Summarize Read the paragraph where the speaker talks about a “paradox” in relationships. In your own words, write a short summary (3-4 sentences) explaining what this paradox is.
• Task 2: Understand the Metaphor The speaker says that a partner should “pave the path” with gold for you, but they can’t actually do it. What does she mean by this metaphor? Write a few sentences explaining her idea.
• Task 3: Read and Reflect Read the section where the speaker talks about being single. She says, “I’d rather be happy and on my own.” What does this tell you about her values? What does she mean when she says that a good relationship “adds to that joy” but doesn’t create it?

Advanced

• Task 1: Analyze the Personal Story Read the story about the speaker’s past relationship and the “Sleep No More” show.
  • What was her partner’s “proclivity”?
  • What was her own “proclivity”?
  • How did she interpret his behavior back then?
  • What does she say she would do if the same thing happened today?
• Task 2: Evaluate the Claims The speaker talks about “two camps” of people: those who are selfish and those who tolerate too much. Read this section and write an analytical response. Do you think this is a complete and accurate way to describe people in relationships? What other types of behaviors or patterns might exist?
• Task 3: Connect and Infer Read the entire text and identify the two main ideas: self-awareness and self-worth. How does the speaker connect these two ideas throughout the video? Explain the relationship between them and how she argues they are essential for a healthy partnership.

Beginner

• Task 1: My Needs The speaker talks about “getting really real with yourself” to know what you need. Write a short list of two or three things you need to be happy in a relationship. For example, “I need to laugh a lot.”
• Task 2: My Vision The speaker says you have a “vision” for your life. In a few sentences, write about your vision for a happy life. Does it include being outdoorsy or having a stable home?
• Task 3: Words of Advice Imagine a friend is having a difficult time with a relationship. Write a short note to them using two or three sentences. Give them a piece of advice you learned from the video.

 Intermediate

• Task 1: A Short Story The speaker talks about a person who is “attracted to outdoorsy people” but “hates the outdoors.” Write a short story (5-6 sentences) about a person like this. What happens when they try to date someone who loves camping or hiking?
• Task 2: A Letter to the Speaker Write a short email or letter to the speaker. Tell them which part of their message was most helpful to you. For example, you could write about the “paradox” of happiness or the idea of “loving your life single.” Explain why it was important for you to hear.
• Task 3: Defining a Term The speaker talks about “codependency” and “low self-worth.” Based on the video, write a paragraph defining each term in your own words and explain how they can hurt a relationship.

Advanced

• Task 1: A Reflective Essay The speaker says that people who “tolerate too much” need to raise their “self-esteem.” Write a reflective essay (200-250 words) about this idea. Do you agree that low self-esteem is a main reason why people stay in unhealthy relationships? Use examples to support your argument.
• Task 2: Compare and Contrast Read the section where the speaker compares her past self to her present self in the “Sleep No More” story. Write an analytical essay (200-250 words) comparing these two versions of herself. What is the main difference in her approach to relationships and conflict? How did she learn to “have the courage” and “the tools” she has now?
• Task 3: An Open Letter Write an open letter to a generation. Choose a generation (e.g., your own, your parents’, etc.). Use the speaker’s ideas about self-worth, being “real,” and “adding value” to write a letter of advice. What do you think this generation needs to hear about healthy relationships?